"Love, to be really love, has to be being-love, gift-love. Being-love means a state of love. When you have arrived home, when you have known who you are, then a love arises in your being. Then the fragrance spreads and you can give it to others." (Osho, “Tantric Transformation”)
I know this to be true, for my own journey . . . after several years of collaborating with my spiritual teacher, I gradually began to arrive at a deeper knowing of my worthiness to be loved and accepted unconditionally. When I could give this love and acceptance to myself, that same unconditional love and acceptance began to flow outward into my relationships and to the world. It felt utterly electrifying to experience this revolutionary shift.
Around the time this outward flow was starting to happen, I remember having a conversation with my former husband Jim to whom I’ve been married twice. As you might imagine, Jim and I have been through a great deal of pain and confusion during our two marriages/divorces. And yet, I was feeling a growing ease in being able to accept him for who he is and to release my judgement and woundedness. He was asking me how this was possible . . . and I explained this principle, of coming to the place of embracing who I am and feeling tender and patient with myself . . . and how when this truth is present at my core, I can share the same essence with others.
Really, it’s miraculous.
What are your thoughts about coming home to yourself? Where are you in this process? How do you feel about who you find there?
“I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life, and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.” (Louise Hay)
I believe the lack of feeling self-worth is epidemic, at least in our competitive American culture. I’m referring to the sense of worthiness that comes from knowing and embracing your own value, separate from anything you say or do. I’m talking about unconditional love and acceptance for yourself, simply because you are who you are.
One element that used to feed my sense of unworthiness was the perception that my value was irrevocably connected to how much money was in my bank account. When I recognized how this blind belief was keeping me stuck in in the muck of performance-based living, I began doing some major emotional house-cleaning. I realized that the “money = worthiness” concept had a lot to do with how my father viewed money and that it wasn’t actually my reality. It was his. When I saw that I’d been claiming someone else’s story as my own, I was able to begin releasing it and crafting a new one inspired by my personal truth.
What relationship or activity or way of believing may be contributing to your feeling of unworthiness? I wonder what it might mean to you, to let go of or reframe this influence in your life.
As always, my gratitude goes out to you, for sharing your stories here . . . your experiences have a powerful impact on all who read your words.
“An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!” (Mandy Hale)
I spent 4+ decades of my life trying to find meaning and joy, from the outside, in. For so long, I was all about "doing." I was a performer, a perfectionist, a good girl, a caretaker. For me, it was an utterly exhausting, killing way to show up in the world.
When it began to dawn on me that my approach to living was absolutely backwards - that I needed to begin from the inside and evolve outward - I felt confused. I felt like I'd lost my bearings. It felt like a death. Which, of course, it was but in the best way possible. In order to discover my new path, I chose to die to the old roles and patterns that I had believed kept me safe and secure.
Embracing unconditional love and acceptance for myself - starting with that unchangeable truth - and practicing it in relationship with trustworthy others has completely transformed the signature of my existence. Knowing my value, my worthiness, is always a process . . . and it grows from the inside, out.
How do you experience your sense of self-worth? What helps it develop? What may stand in its way?
Thanks for sharing some of your story here. Big Love to you . . .