"Love, to be really love, has to be being-love, gift-love. Being-love means a state of love. When you have arrived home, when you have known who you are, then a love arises in your being. Then the fragrance spreads and you can give it to others." (Osho, “Tantric Transformation”)
I know this to be true, for my own journey . . . after several years of collaborating with my spiritual teacher, I gradually began to arrive at a deeper knowing of my worthiness to be loved and accepted unconditionally. When I could give this love and acceptance to myself, that same unconditional love and acceptance began to flow outward into my relationships and to the world. It felt utterly electrifying to experience this revolutionary shift.
Around the time this outward flow was starting to happen, I remember having a conversation with my former husband Jim to whom I’ve been married twice. As you might imagine, Jim and I have been through a great deal of pain and confusion during our two marriages/divorces. And yet, I was feeling a growing ease in being able to accept him for who he is and to release my judgement and woundedness. He was asking me how this was possible . . . and I explained this principle, of coming to the place of embracing who I am and feeling tender and patient with myself . . . and how when this truth is present at my core, I can share the same essence with others.
Really, it’s miraculous.
What are your thoughts about coming home to yourself? Where are you in this process? How do you feel about who you find there?
“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.” (Anais Nin)
Ten and a half years ago I chose to make a 180-degree turn in my life. I left Phoenix, Arizona where I’d lived for over 30 years, where I’d been married and raised two children and built community and developed several businesses. I had a wild dream that my life could be immeasurably different, richer, more true to who I sensed myself becoming.
I didn’t have much in the way of answers, but I had plenty of questions. “Where will I make my new home? Who will be my friends? How will I support myself? What will my walk in the world look and feel like?” At times the unknown felt terrifying. I trusted deep in my soul though that there could be no “wrong” choices, that every experience would be a learning, and that Way would become clear. In my heart I kept coloring my dream with increasingly vibrant detail, asking for more freedom, more openings for authenticity and creativity.
Ultimately, I found myself in Santa Fe, New Mexico. On the surface I believed I’d been called there because of the Sky and the Light and the Land. Certainly, this was partially true. Over time I discovered that it went much deeper than the beauty of geography. I was led here to embrace an emotional and spiritual transformation journey of astonishing magnitude, something I’d been wanting but never could have put into words.
My first few years in northern New Mexico felt especially tough and messy, filled with loss and grief. I seriously considered leaving. The challenges didn’t have anything to do with where I was living and everything to do with who I was and the growth I’d been asking for. It was a phenomenal season of death and rebirth for me.
The wild dream I cast into space more than a decade ago has brought me to a wise and patient teacher, caring community, intimate relationship with the Earth and her creatures, a completely fresh way of sharing my gifts in the world and, most importantly, the capacity to love and accept myself unconditionally. Life is far from nice and neat and tidy. I wasn’t looking for that. It’s big and unpredictable and filled with endless opportunities . . . as vast as the vaulted blue New Mexico Sky.
What dream are you nurturing for your own life? What are you asking for?
“Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.” (Terry Tempest Williams, "When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations on Voice")
I so love the word picture that this quote brings to my heart and mind . . . women fearlessly singing together as gorgeously feathered beings, soaring, nesting in shady trees, feeding their hatchlings, so filled with life energy that their celebration songs heal our wounded world.
Wouldn’t it be remarkable, for women and also men to collaborate safely in community - like the birds - to freely express their truths and unlimited strengths . . . all to bring more love and well-being to this planet? I feel this vision is wildly real when there’s a shared acceptance about the transforming nature of love, a love that starts within each individual soul and flows outward to others like song.
Our Earth and all of us who journey here together are meant to be applauded and honored and celebrated. Let’s keep the power of affirmation alive. Let’s keep singing. Let’s continue to show up in love that persists, no matter what.